dear MDH,

blah blah blah

i'll never let you go...

blah blah blah.

lol.

im falling in love

with this feeling

again.

you can do anything

...just don't fall in love.

a part of me will always be with you.

i think i know what
you wanted to say

and someday you'll
hear yourself say it

and i'll smile at you
because i know it's true

then i'll give you a kiss
and i'll walk away.

dear joe,

i need to write more.

a lot more.

i'll get to it, i promise!

i'm the perfect disaster

WARNING:
****CONTENTS UNDER PRESSURE****
****HANDLE WITH CARE****

contents:
loves big, dreams bigger. talks freely, giggles often. mildly neurotic, intensely passionate. confident but broken, burn and you'll get scorched. trusts easily, but builds wall. chaotic and disorganized. starts lots, finishes little. inquisitive and stubborn. inherently strong, unbearably fragile. artistically inclined, musically defeated. fiesty and opinionated. consistently restless.

for proper use, please adhere to the following directions to avoid unnecessary explosions and/or painful results:

needs blackberry to breathe. must be connected at all times. constant attention necessary, as well as adequate space. needs to be appreciated and respected with honesty and love. must have music streaming and paintbrush ready. no outlets cause for immediate chaos.

consequences of improper handling:

extreme trauma. explosions, small or large will definitely ensue. tears and uncontrolled heartbreak will lead to fire. puncturing will cause undue harm to any and all within vicinity.

other important information:

has a weakness for kind eyes and cheesecake. considers talking to be one of life's greatest pleasures. has a tendency to play with fire, regardless of the risks of being burned. thinks babies remind us that innocence is brilliant and God has a plan. is a firm believer in retail therapy and the healing power of cute animals. addicted to many inanimate objects, including, but not limited to: blackberry, console gaming, HDtv, computers and open standards.

you should've thought twice
before you let it all go.

ughhhh

i know i don't
trust you




but im still here.

not a whole lot left to say now

i'm strong on the surface
not all the way through
i've never been perfect
but neither have you

true story

Well, the day has just begun
And I'm already running late
With too many irons in the fire
And too much on my plate
I'd be pulling out my hair
If I could just get one hand free
And I'd stop this world
If I could find the key

What I feel
Is telling me I'm going crazy
But what is real
Says God's still on His throne
What I need
Is to remember one thing:
That the Lord of the gentle breeze
Is Lord of the rough and tumble
And He is the King of the jungle

People say this world's a jungle
And sometimes I must admit
I'd be scared to death
If I did not know who was king of it
But the truth is God created
This whole world with His own hand
So everything is under His command, and...

What I feel
Is telling me this world's gone crazy
But what is real
Says God's still on His throne
What I need
Is to remember one thing:
That the Lord of the gentle breeze
Is Lord of the rough and tumble
And He is the King of the jungle

K-i-n-g of the j-u-n-g-l-e
He's king of creation
K-i-n-g of the j-u-n-g-l-e
Ruler of all of the sky and the sea
K-i-n-g of the j-u-n-g-l-e
He's always in control
K-i-n-g of the j-u-n-g-l-e
He is the King of kings
K-i-n-g of the j-u-n-g-l-e
He's sitting on the throne
He is the King of kings

i didn't say all the things that i wanted to say

and you can't take back what you've taken away.

nice guys finish last.

i dont get why nice guys finish last


all the girls in this world want guys to put them on a pedestal and treat them like queens.

yet the guys who do that never get the girl.


ladies! stop being such bitches...give the nice ones a chance :)

and i am hanging on every word you say

life is a blessing.



i should try acting like it.

take a breath and hold on tight

there comes a point when you realize who you've been, who you are and who you want to be.

i can't explain what happened when i picked up my first paint brush. something awakened inside of me. something that never goes away. anytime there is a brush in my hand, magic happens :)

last april, admist some misc home repairs (i look hot in a tool belt, btw), i was doing some touchup painting in my kitchen and i picked up a brush and felt at peace. i felt whole. i felt like ... me. it's so hard to explain how alive i feel when i'm creating.



when i start out paint an oceanscape, and it becomes a field of flowers, its only because the canvas wants to see flowers.

i let the painting paint itself, and then it smiles back.

the paint doesn't work for me, i work for it.

i never really think about what im going to do. i just throw the paint on and watch the magic unfold.

and you were my best friend

And I'll never give myself to another
The way I gave it to you

Don't even recognize
The ways you hurt me
Do you?

It's gonna take a miracle to bring me back

And you're the one to blame


And now I feel like, oh
You're the reason
Why I'm thinking
I don't wanna smoke on
These cigarettes no more
I guess that's what I get
For wishful thinking
Should've never let you enter my door
Next time you wanna go on and leave
I should just let you go on and do it
Cause now I'm using like I bleed
It's like I checked into rehab
Baby you're my disease
It's like I checked into rehab
Baby you're my disease
I gotta check into rehab
'Cause baby you're my disease
I gotta check into rehab
'Cause baby you're my disease

Damn
Ain't it crazy
When you're loveswept
You'll do anything
For the one you love
'Cause anytime
That you needed me
I'd be there
It's like
You were my favorite drug
The only problem is
That you was using me
In a different way
That I was using you
But now that I know
That it's not meant to be

You gotta go

I gotta wean myself off of you

don't waste your time on me

you're already the voice inside my head.




i miss you.

Happy November!

Today is the day!!! I'm doing my "winter cleaning!" and catching up on my homework.


I live such an exciting life :)

i think that perhaps

you don't get it.

i mean, i could totally explain it to you ten times over. and you'd still be retarded.

you'll never get it.


and you'll never understand women.


good luck to you.

who wants to be ordinary?

in this crazy mixed up world ;)







not me ... that's for sure :)

when all is said and done...

you'll never be who you were.

and i'll never figure out how you became what you are.

and that is something i just have to find some way to live with.

because he's right.

people do change and you just have to let go and move on.

letting you go is the hardest thing i think i've ever had to do.

goodbye my friend.